Shocktober 2026 - Spaced Invaders (1990)
“Prepare to die, Earth scum!" – Giggywig
You’ll recall that last time, I said that the next Shocktober Scream would come from the skies. You’ll also recall that I’m offering some Alternate Takes as the theme for this year’s Shocktober, and if you’ve been around this festival for ANY amount of time over the past twenty years, I love to throw in some deep and obscure cuts. And here’s one right here. (Be warned though, this is far, far away from being the most obscure deep cut I have to offer you over the next few weeks and we lurch toward Halloween.)
Okay, so let’s step away from the classic gothic horror tropes this time and dip our cloven hooves into the puddle of the alien invader genre in this sci-fi comedy from 1990.
Opening with music from Mars, the Bringer of War from The Planets Suite by Gustav Holst, we join a war, where the Martians are engaged in battle with their bitter enemies the Arcturians. We learn that the Martians are being monitored by Enforcer Drones, who will execute any Martian committing an act of cowardice. This is despite the objections of the Martians who aren’t the bravest or the most intelligent of warriors.
Even less intelligent than the average Martian are the civilian crew of a small ship from the Civilian Asteroid Patrol, who intercept an S.O.S. message.
So far, so good. Following the distress message is a brief signal indicating a Martian invasion of the planet Earth. These morons decide they want to join in and grab themselves some of the glory of a victorious Earth invasion force, so they change course and head our way, landing at the source of the signal, a small rural town called Big Bean, Illinois.
What the crew don’t know is that it’s Halloween, and the local radio station is playing a recording of Orson Wells’ famous radio dramatization from 1938. This is what they’re responding to.
The three main Martians are all very broadly based on pop culture icons, so Blaznee, Captain Bipto, and Corporal Pez are based on Jack Nicholson, William Shatner and Jerry Lewis respectively. When they encounter some of the locals, as it’s Halloween, it’s just assumed that these insectoid looking creatures are just kids in costume, having fun – much to the Martians’ frustration. It’s not realised that they actually ARE Martians until the town deputy tracks them down for going 2,945 mph over the speed limit.
A local farmer Mr Wrenchmuller (Royal Dano) is about to have his farm repossessed unless he can either pay off his debt in cash or crops. He sees an opportunity to exploit the hapless Martians who have landed in his barn, by selling photos of them, a moronic gas station attendant is turned into a mindless zombie slave, a failed attempt to blow up a building results in them blowing up a solo of corn kernels, creating a deluge of popcorn, before two kids capture one of the Martians and help him repair their ship, which was damaged on their crash landing. However, the other Martians still want to invade the entire planet, and will use the dreaded D.O.D. – the Doughnut of Destruction, which instantly falls apart. This is when they decide they’re making a huge mistake and three Martians really can’t conquer a planet of six billion people who are physically bigger than they are.
They decide to leave, but the Enforcer Drone won’t allow this, so Wrenchmuller helps out by blowing the drone up with dynamite. Eventually, they get their ship launched but they need to jettison something in order to attain escape velocity. They decide to purge their waste tank, dousing Wrenchmuller’s fields in fluorescent green Martian manure.
The following morning, as Wrenchmuller’s creditor drives up to repossess the farm, it’s discovered that the Martian waste has remarkable fertilizing properties, and has grown a huge crop of giant beans overnight, thus solving the problem.
Truthfully, you wouldn’t believe how many times this film has made it on to a draft list of Shocktober movies over the years, only to be pulled at the last minute in favour of another idea. Undeniably, I’ve got something of a soft spot for this film; it has a cult following though not as big as the following of Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988) but it has a charm. At 100 minutes, it feels overlong and could easily be improved by cutting 10 -15 mins. However, watching it always brings a smile to my face.
Next time, let’s delve into the perils archaeologists face when they stick their noses where they shouldn’t be. It’ll be another little seen deep dive. See you in a couple of days.
Don't forget the Piercing the Veil Shocktober Special at this link.