Haunted Mansion Review

"Welcome, foolish mortals..."

Just as with the famous ride at Disney parks, which is a perennial family favourite of ours, the latest movie based on the ride begins with those chilling words, “Welcome, foolish mortals”. The latest, tough? Yes – let’s not forget that eight years ago, Disney released the first Haunted Mansion film, a more comedic version, as a vehicle for Eddie Murphy. That version is being included and one of the 13 Screams of Halloween in this year’s Shocktober, which kicks off in a few weeks. (More details on what Shocktober is all about can be found here.)

So, to establish – this is an all-new film, based on the Disney Park ride that has been luring the crowds into its sinister, but child friendly clutches since the 1960’s. We’ve ridden the ride more times than I can remember at both Orlando and Paris. Essentially, it’s a ghost train that’s pretty safe for all ages, and entertaining to all. It’s remarkably well done, and there are subtle differences in the rides from park to park, but essentially the back story is the same. Rooms stretch out, corridors seem endless, busts come to life and sing in barbershop style, the portraits watch you as you pass, the ghosts have a banquet and party in the old ballroom, you visit the cemetery – you get the picture – and finally, as you escape being the 1000th ghost, you find, as you pass a mirror, that you’ve picked up a ghostly passenger that wants to come home with you.

Now the challenge is to pack as much of that ride into a film as they can. BUT - I guess the fine line is that Disney are looking to appease the ride’s millions of fans worldwide with as many familiar sights that they’ve enjoyed on the ride, while not making it so ride-centric that those other millions worldwide feel alienated. The original film is a completely different unrelated entity to this one, with no connection at all so whereas that was mainly based on Murphy’s character, this is a more earnest attempt at a comedy horror from Disney and features more of the actual Mansion.

It has a really strong cast – Rosario Dawson leads as Gabbie, a single parent, who buys the old derelict mansion with the intention of turning it into a bed and breakfast business. She soon finds out that it’s not just haunted – it’s REALLY haunted. Through a priest, Father Kent (Owen Wilson who’s nowhere near as annoyingly nasal and whiney in this film as he usually is) she hires an ex-astrophysicist Ben Matthias (LaKeith Stanfield) who has devised and built a lens capable of photographing spectral beings. But nobody seems to be taking Gabbie seriously, they’re just in it for the money – until they spend a night there and see for themselves. Also among the paranormal hunting crew are a medium with genuine psychic abilities named Harriet (Tiffany Haddish) and Bruce Davis (Danny DeVito) a college professor and expert in the paranormal. As soon as you enter the house, you’re followed by a ghost, and you’re lured back to the mansion and pretty much forced to stay.

Of course, there’s a more sinister side to all this, after all, without the horror, it wouldn’t be a horror comedy. Among all the ghosts, there’s the un-nerving Hatbox Ghost (Jared Leto) who led a tortured life. Before his death, he was Alistair Crump. He was abused by his father after the death of his mother and cast out of the house. As an adult, he took revenge by murdering those members of high society who shunned him, before being beheaded by his own servants. He’s looking for someone who’ll voluntarily give up their lives, to become the Mansion’s 1000th ghost.

So, all in all a solid story, with some chills – the Hatbox Ghost being particularly memorable and a juicy but brief role for scream queen Jaime Lee Curtis a psychic now reduced to a disembodied head, trapped in her own crystal ball.

The effects are, as you’d expect, absolutely great – particularly the ghost infested cemetery and ballroom. But what needs to be remembered is that this is a Disney movie, aimed at families. It isn’t Poltergeist or The Haunting. There are some pleasant chills and a lot of fun scenes that should, I think please its target audiences.

Criticisms? Yes, the film, like the ride, is dark. I expected that – but it seems overly dark. I’m not sure if that’s down to cinemas turning down the brightness on their projectors, because I’ve found several movies to look better and more vivid on Blu-ray than they did at the cinemas.

The only other thing is I feel that the movie would’ve perhaps done better business as an autumn release, leading up to Halloween. It fits far neater into that bracket than as a summer blockbuster. Having said that, I think that like Hocus Pocus (1993) it’ll find a huge audience on home viewing and become a fall favourite. But coming out of the screening on a Sunday afternoon in August, I and my family were all completely satisfied and are looking forward to riding the actual ride again, when we head to Disney in a few weeks. (We called it a research expedition.)

Rob Rating 8/10