The Boogeyman Review

“They called it The Boogeyman. Yeah. That’s what I used to look at them. Like they were crazy. I found the hard way I was wrong. Likes to play with its food. Scare them to death. Shit, it can even talk like them. Like a Goddamn echo. It needs the dark to stay hidden. Fire was the first thing man used to see at night.” – Rita Billings.

I got pretty enthusiastic when I heard this one was on its way. I’m always up for a good adaptation of a Stephen King story, and I recognised this as the title of a short story from his Night Shift collection, which I had read way back in the mid-eighties. It strikes me that it’s probably time for me to revisit those earlier King books, because it’s been practically four decades since I read them. To be honest, I can’t remember any of the details, to the point that I can’t even say if this is a good adaptation of the source material. With that in mind, the following is my impression of the film alone.

Okay – so I went in cold, having seen only the trailer, which had piqued my interest. In full “I’m here for a good time, so impress me” mode, I took my seat.

One hundred minutes later, I left that seat, somewhat disappointed.

As regular readers (and I know you’re out there) know, I like to select a quote from the film I’m reviewing. A quote that will either give a flavour of the film, or one that I find funny in its context. The one above happens half way through the film and pretty much nails every plot point in a film that had so many opportunities, had some solid performances from the cast, I was pre-sold on the movie – but it all fell short and sort of evaporated into an ethereal mist of predictability and cheap shocks.

That last paragraph might sound a bit harsh, but let’s look at the evidence as the film unfolds.

The Harper family has lost the mother in an accident. Will Harper Chris Messina), a therapist grieves for the loss of his wife, and daughters Sadie (Sophie Thatcher) and Sawyer (Vivien Lyra Blair) are similarly having a tough time coping with the sudden loss of their mother. Their father, who as a therapist really should know better, seems oblivious and too preoccupied with providing therapy for others to really take care of his own children.

A man named Lester Billings (David Dastmalchian) shows up, who has lost all three of his children – he claims they were killed by something “that takes your children when you’re not paying attention” BUT he seems under suspicion for their killing. While Will phones the police, convinced that his new client is a child murderer, Billings kills himself in an upstairs room and is discovered by the eldest daughter, Sadie. So, whatever caused the death of the kids has followed Lester to the Harper house, and is targeting youngest daughter Sawyer. It literally is the monster in the bed/monster in the closet. That’s a strong build-up, right?

This is where it starts getting predictable.

A strange black mould starts to form in the house, as the creature makes itself at home, and nobody believes Sawyer (despite this mould coming from nowhere which due to its rapid spread MUST indicate something is very wrong, the house must have developed a case of damp that makes it uninhabitable overnight at the very least) until Sadie sees the creature for herself and sets about researching how to go about killing it, having found a crude drawing of it in a notebook Billings had left in her father’s home office. (Which the police had somehow missed.) She even visits Billings’ home, where she’s confronted by his widow Rita (Marin Ireland), who confirms her worst fears in the speech I’ve opened this review with, before firing a shotgun several times. (Evidently, you can shoot a shotgun indoors several times and have a panicked teenaged girl run out of your house, which is in a suburban neighbourhood and nobody calls the police.)

That crude drawing of a spindly legged creature is pretty important, because it’s the only indication what the creature looks like – which is another huge problem. Slam closeups to sudden blares of music don’t make a horror film. It’s the cinematic equivalent of being goosed repeatedly, and it soon becomes annoying. There’s very little build up of tension, and most of the scenes inside the Harper house are too dimly lit for us, the audience, to see what exactly is happening.

For a creature that thrives in the darkness, everybody seems determined to light their rooms as dimly as possible. (Personally, I’d be lighting the house brightly enough to burn my retinas.) Let’s bear in mind this film is set in the modern day of 2023 – I’ve never seen so many candles unnecessarily sacrificed in a movie.

Clues are given to the ending of the film. Actually, not just clues – these are clear signposts. Sadie trying to contact her dead mother, saying if she’s there, she should bend the candle flame to the left? A supply of combustible materials in the basement? The creature’s ability to mimic?

This is horror in name only. Horror in the vapid style of the lamentable Conjuring series where the film is a series of entirely predictable events punctuated by a series of loud close-ups to make the audience jump. The ending obvious from a mile away. All that’s missing is Patrick Wilson in the role of the father.

It might seem that I’m being unduly harsh here, but a couple of weeks ago, I watched another “child in peril at the hands of a malevolent supernatural being” film on Netflix called Come Play, and I loved every second of that. It was fast paced, creepy as hell, with a protagonist in Larry (the creature in question) that elicited as much sympathy as he did sheer horror and menace. My heartfelt recommendation is that you watch Come Play. You’ll have a more satisfying evening.

The best score I can scrape for this, taking into account the excellent setup is…

Rob Rating 3/10