Final Destination: Bloodlines Review
“I intend to enjoy the time I have left, and I suggest you do the same. Life is precious. Enjoy every single second. You never know when... Good luck.” – William Bludworth
There wasn’t ever going to be another way for me to start off this particular review than by quoting the last words spoken onscreen by the late Tony Todd. Not only in tribute to the actor who brought Candyman to life on the screen, but also because he had total creative control over his final appearance on film, knowing he had little time remaining. It’s good advice. Thank you, Mr Todd.
Now, to the business at hand. There’s a new Final Destination film out there – and the online trailers have been tempting me for several weeks. In fact, the first teaser is the second most watched trailer ever, with over 178 million hits in the first 24 hours. For the stats freaks among you, IT remains the clear number one with over 200 million.
If there’s a new Final Destination, then my rear end is headed for a cinema seat. No question. I’m there. The films have been consistently ingenious in their setup and execution (pun intended). I remember watching the first one on VHS back in the day not really knowing what it was about. It opened with an airliner exploding on take-off. And it was the evening before we, as a family, were heading out to Florida for a vacation. The last thing we saw before heading out to Manchester Airport. A few years later, we were back in America in our motel room when Final Destination 2 was premiering on TV. The scene with the logging truck? We were on a similar looking interstate among similar looking trucks the following day. Needless to say, we all survived.
I was looking back through my files and I couldn’t help noticing that in all the years I’ve been reviewing, I’ve somehow never covered these on my site or in a magazine. This is the sixth film in the series, and the first since 2011. The series actually started back in 2000. I guess we were way past overdue. The great thing about this particular franchise is that the concept is such that this isn’t a reboot, or remake. It isn’t really a continuation either because there aren’t any recurring characters – and the films can go on and on because the concept is that adaptive and flexible. Not to refreshingly mention original.
Okay, it’s been fourteen years and some of you might not have seen one of these movies and haven’t a clue what I’m waxing lyrical about. It’s about death.
The concept is that some people survive an incident they’re not supposed to. Maybe a premonition warns someone to get off an aircraft that explodes and that’s where they’re supposed to die, as in the first film, or maybe a race track where a car goes out of control and ploughs into the crowd in attendance but you’ve had a dream and you leave early. The point is, you’ve literally cheated death – and death doesn’t like to be cheated, so comes after the survivors in the order they’re supposed to die, just to balance the books so to speak. Death isn’t actually shown, or personified. We just see a random set of circumstances, seemingly unconnected, suddenly all come together with catastrophic consequences. It’s really like watching how accidents happen. One element by itself is harmless, two maybe okay – but add something else and all these innocuous events become something deadly.
In Bloodlines, we kick off in the late sixties. A young couple attend the opening night of a high-rise restaurant tower. But unknown to the masses, this tower has some structural flaws. So, add some random bratty kid throwing pennies off the top, one of which is blown into an air vent, add several people dancing on a raised glass floor that can’t support the weight – you get the idea. On event leads to another, and another and the result is total carnage that makes The Towering Inferno look like a mild camp fire.
Except the young girl survives. It’s a premonition. She saves dozens of lives by having the place evacuated. The SkyView restaurant was closed down and never re-opened. All this is seen in a recurring nightmare in the present day by a descendant of Iris, the young girl in the premonition. This is Stefani, who determines to find out what’s behind the nightmare.
Iris is her grandmother, now living in secluded isolation, literally hiding from death, because everyone else who survived that night is now dead, caused by an accident of some kind and she knows death is coming for her, and if she dies, all of her descendants who of course shouldn’t have existed in the first place, in the order they were born.
That’s the plot, and to be fair – that’s ALWAYS the plot. But the meat of the film is how these deaths occur. As I’ve mentioned, a series of unconnected small events become a chain, leading to a gory death and for me, anyway, there’s a morbid fascination in watching these small details unfold. That and in my opinion, seeing stupid people splattered in a horror film will never NOT be entertaining. Although classified as a supernatural horror, the Final Destination movies have their roots equally both in that genre and in the blunter elements of the splatter category.
The box office success of this movie shows there’s certainly an eager audience for these movies, as Bloodlines has had the strongest opening of any of the series to date. Horror fans will have absolutely nothing to complain about as it’s title to credits action and exposition with a few unexpected twists along the way. The effects are exemplary.
I can help but give this film full honours on my rating because I couldn’t find anything wrong with it. No dragging, no sagging.
Enjoy.
Rob Rating = 10
