The Good, the Bad & the Fugly 2023

For the uninitiated, The Good, the Bad & the Fugly is a time-honoured tradition of mine that I started back on the previous site a long, long time ago. You can still read a couple from previous years on this link, which takes you to a snapshot of the original website which was active from 2010 – 2022.

It’s been two years since I had the fun of doing this annual list of the films I, personally, have enjoyed the most in the past year. And that’s the whole point of the list – it’s all about my personal preferences, what I loved and what disappointed me. In rare cases (and this is one of those years) what I hated. By and large, they’re mainly films I’ve seen from my first trip to the multiplex to the last. So, anything I’ve watched in the actual year in question is eligible. Sometimes, streaming and direct to video make the list as well. I should point out that this year’s list contains a few entries I saw during that Twilight Zone period after the closure of the old site and the opening of this one.

But enough talk, let’s take a look at this year’s list.

The Good

10 – Cocaine Bear

Very loosely based on a true-ish event, but hugely embellished, this was a movie that kind of had a “B” movie sensibility, but an “A” movie budget. It was very reminiscent of the seventies’ Grizzly which I’ve covered here. The plot has a large consignment of cocaine being dropped from a plane by smugglers, which ends up in the Chattahoochie National Park. A bear ingests some of it and becomes hooked, alternating being incredibly mellow and going on a rampage to find more to feed his growing habit. Meanwhile, an oddball group of criminals, law enforcement and tourists descent upon the park. Cheesy dialogue, strong cast, some awesome effects (particularly the bear) and a lot of gore made this one a more fun than I thought it should’ve been.

9 – Fast X

Yes, you read that right. The tenth in the Fast & Furious films is one of my films of the year. For a long time, I’ve regarded the F&F films as a kind of guilty pleasure. But these days, I don’t feel guilty any more. I enjoy the hell out of them for exactly what they are; over the top, loud, crazy, wild escapist entertainment. Impossible stunts, spectacular destruction of large metropolitan areas and characters to whom death seldom means the end and Vin Diesel’s white vest which never seems to get a single stain. The series has gone from a caper movie about street racers to covert missions for the American government, rocket powered cars ending up outside the International Space Station, being chased by missile firing submarines in the Antarctic. Absurd, big, dumb movies which deliver every single time. His one was no exception; except it’s supposed to be part one of a two parter and the penultimate entry in the series now entering its fifteenth year. All characters were left in a cliffhanger situation, seemingly impossible to get out of raising my anticipation for the next movie higher than normal. But most of all, I want to know how Gal Gadot’s dead character is now seemingly in charge of a nuclear submarine.

8 – Scream VI

Wow, what a double bill that was. Both Cocaine Bear and Scream VI seen on the same outing (March 9, if you’re curious). Scream is a horror movie series I’ve admired since the first one, which was a self-aware commentary on the tropes of the slasher movie. The second tackled sequels, the third was about trilogies, then we’ve had reboots and remakes. Every time I think we’re done, the producers come up with an idea which makes the new entry every bit as valid as those which came before. This is no exception. It’s as much fun as ever trying to guess who’s behind the Ghostface mask this time and what their motives might be. The sixth film in a horror series shouldn’t be this edge-of-your-seat good, much less this original.

7 – Shazam: Fury of the Gods

It was a surprising year for superhero movies. Maybe the bubble has finally burst – and this is something I realised when I was compiling this list. Really great ones were very few and far apart this year. In fact, none of the Marvel movies have made the good list. The best they had to offer was Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 3 which wasn’t bad – it was adequate. And I currently don’t have a category for adequate. This Shazam sequel though just sparkled which Zachary Levi back in the role as the adult superhero orphaned Billy Batson becomes when he utters the word “Shazam! He and his family take on the Daughters of Atlas, Hespera (Helen Mirren) Kalypso (Lucy Liu) and Anthea (Rachel Zegler). The Shazam films are superheroics with a lighter tone, and if indeed the planned reboot of the whole DC movie universe by James Gunn includes scrapping all established casting, and this is the last time we’ll see Levy in this role – I’ll miss him.

6 – Thanksgiving

This one came out of left field. A traditional slasher film by Eli Roth. For anyone who ever muttered “why don’t they make ‘em like this any more?” while watching a holiday themed slasher movie from the golden age of the eighties – here it is. This one’s for you. I loved every second, despite not really knowing anything about the movie other than having seen the trailer. This movie has future traditional Thanksgiving viewing written all over it. From the opening Black Friday sales riot (which says a lot about the public these days) to the final shot – this is pure ambrosia for slasher fans.

5 – The Last Voyage of the Demeter

If Thanksgiving was pure ambrosia for slasher fans, surely Last Voyage of the Demeter is pure ambrosia for the vampire fans. (Luckily, I’m in both camps.) But actually SEEING this movie isn’t particularly easy. I had heard about it, there was a buzz about it, there was a release date, there was anticipation – but it never appeared. It completely vanished, like a vampire at daybreak due to some legal complication with the release rights. It received a Stateside release and that was about it. Here in the U.K. nothing. No theatrical release, so streaming, no physical media. Steve imported the American DVD release as a Christmas gift, playable on my multi region player (THIS is why we love physical media, kids!)

It covers a part of the Dracula story we’ve never seen before, but one I‘ve been curious to see. The sea voyage of Dracula from Romania to the British shores, as mentioned in Bram Stoker’s novel, alluded to by Universal in their 1931 movie and a few other versions over the years but never examined in detail.

It was worth the wait. Dracula in this instance bears the appearance of Max Shreck’s vampire from Nosferatu (1922) and is a force of pure malignant evil, feeding on the sailors to keep himself alive until he can reach Britain for fresh blood, having leased Carfax Abbey. It’s pure atmospheric horror, as Dracula who’s almost helplessly weak at the beginning, but grows stronger with each feeding, as the crew numbers dwindle and a sense of despair and inevitability pervades. This is a film that needs to be seen widely. It’ll wash the taste of Twilight right out. This is vampirism as we horror fans love it – feral.

4 - M3GAN

The first trip to the multiplex on January 31 was a great one. Both films made the cut on to the list. (This always makes me optimistic about the cinema year ahead. I get worried if we’re into the summer and I’m still scratching for titles for the list.)

M3GAN can be said to be a bit derivative of the Chucky series, in that it’s a child’s doll with a mind of its own, but this is a Blumhouse production and they’ve earned their place as a reliable go-to for horror as far as I’m concerned.

Of course, toys have advanced a great deal since the days of Child’s Play (1988) and there’s no voodoo involved here. M3GAN is a prototype animatronic doll with an advanced A.I. chip, who develops self awareness and becomes homicidally protective of her young, orphaned human companion. It’s an effective cross of sci-fi and horror with some dark humour and strong performances.

As for the other film on the double bill…

3 – The Fabelmans

It’s no secret that Steven Spielberg is my all-time favourite director, so when you tell me that he’s directing a movie that’s basically about his formative years as a teen, making movies with his friends while at high school, as his family dissolves and he has to deal with antisemitic bullying, I’m there.

This is Spielberg’s most personal film, and I can’t see how he could ever make anything more personal than retelling a time of his life that was a mixture of innocence, happiness, despair, fear and a feeling of betrayal. All this, and an appropriately wistful score by the great John Williams made this a strong contender for my number one spot. Until June 16.

On June 16, I saw the one film that immediately merited a second screening with only enough time to grab a burger between showings.

2 – The Flash

Based on the Flashpoint story arc in DC’s Flash comics, which affected every character in the DC universe without their knowledge because their timelines were altered. (This was all gathered together in a 1000 + page omnibus which I spent a few happy months reading.)

So, The Flash/Barry Allen basically runs so fast, he can go back in time to save his mother from an early death, and by doing this he can save his father from being wrongly incarcerated in prison. Got that? Good. In doing this, he causes a ripple effect that affects everything. (This is very much the shorthand version)

Anyhow, our Barry meets a Barry from another reality in the multiverse who doesn’t have any powers. General Zod (the villain from Man of Steel (2013)) still attacks, demanding the Last Kryptonian be handed over – but Superman never arrived on Earth in this reality. Supergirl did, but she’s kept prisoner at a secret government base, in darkness so her powers have faded. The only superhero this reality has is Batman. Except it’s not the Batman our Barry is used to. This Batman is the Michael Keaton version, who is persuaded to come out of retirement and lend a hand.

This film is to me the DC equivalent of Marvel’s Infinity War. We see the various realities in the multiverse, we see things we’ve never seen before, like Christopher Reeve’s Superman, standing alongside Helen Slater’s Supergirl. We even get a clip of the proposed Nicolas Cage Superman. Every iteration of these beloved DC characters is confirmed as being “real” in their own corners of the multiverse, including Geroge Reeves’ Superman and Adam West’s Batman. It actually left me with a lump in my throat. Best of all, we now actually, finally have a Michael Keaton Batman trilogy.

I didn’t think anything could beat that. I was confident of it. Then the Japanese intervened at the last moment on December 15 and unleashed…

(Drum roll please)

1 – Godzilla Minus One

Toho Godzilla, on the big screen, in its original Japanese version with subtitles! A prologue of sorts, that’s both a prequel to the original film AND a homage/remake of the original film depicting Godzilla’s first attack on Tokyo back then – all in the same film!

Add to that, social commentary on the shame of being a failed Kamikaze pilot returning to a Tokyo levelled by the merciless bombing at the end of the war and the atomic bomb testing in the Pacific post war. We’re back to Godzilla being a metaphor for the horrors of nuclear fallout and the mutations it caused.

This may well be the greatest Godzilla film in the 70-year history of the character. It’s flawless.

And now, here are the three worst… trust me, two of these movies are surprising to me to see on this list as they might be to you. Okay, reverse order again…

The Bad

3 – Barbie

Let July 27 be a day that lies in infamy. It was the day that I saw Barbie, not Oppenheimer. Something I still can’t believe to this day, but blame the persuasive powers of a daughter on her father. (Le sigh) Oppenheimer would have to wait until Boxing Day and blu-ray.

To be open and honest, Barbie didn’t start out too badly, I thought “I can survive this with my dignity intact” but when Barbie starts questioning her purpose and suffers an existentialist crisis, I began fearing from my sanity. Then, the songs, oh dear lord the songs…. And the heavily delivered battle of the sexes message that seemed to be hammered home with the force of Thor. First half not so bad, second half – kill me now. Overall, not as bad as Detective Pikachu but it’s on that list of movies I never, ever want to see again.

2 - The Marvels

Okay, this was a film I had been looking forward to. Repeated viewings had given me an appreciation of the first Captain Marvel movie that didn’t exist when I saw it first, I think the timeline is a little confusing and not as apparent as maybe it could’ve been. But Brie Larsen was completely engaging as the title character. I had enjoyed Captain Marvel’s roles in Infinity War and Endgame. I had really enjoyed the Ms. Marvel series streaming on Disney+ so this was going to be a pleasure -right?

There were rumours surfacing online about this being a musical, and that froze my blood. A musical? What the actual hell? Turns out it’s actually NOT a musical, but there is a totally needless sequence on a planet where everybody communicates in song and dance but despise that as I did, (I dislike musicals) I gave the rest of the film a chance. To be honest, the whole cast seem to just phone this one in. They come across as being as bored with the whole thing as I was, and I wanted to like it so badly.

Soooooo badly, bordering on the desperate, in fact – because on February 17, I had seen…

1 – Ant-Man & The Wasp: Quantumania

…which left my faith in the Marvel Movie Universe severely shaken. I’ve loved the Ant-Man movies, because they’ve been likeably goofy. Paul Rudd, Evangeline Lilly and Michael Douglas have played against each other perfectly, adding a slice of bright comedy to the super heroics. In a way, they’ve hit the same tone as DC’s Shazam.

But Quantumania missed the mark by a country mile in using it as a vehicle to introduce their next big bad villain to fill the shoes of Thanos. Kang the Conqueror was forgettably played by Jonathan Majors. Majors turned in the softest voiced, least threatening super villain performance I’ve ever seen. And up to the actor’s court case, was set to reprise the role in an upcoming multi movie story arc. Now he’s gone. I can’t say I’ll miss his presence, as he hardly registered here.

As to Rudd, Lilly, Douglas and Michelle Pffeiffer – how can a cast like that make a film that’s this incredibly dull and actually boring? I’ve been a little confused in some Marvel movies, some have worked better than others, and I’m thinking Eternals, Thor: The Dark World here in particular – but this is on a whole new scale of paralysis. The year didn’t get much better for Marvel, except for Spider-Man: Across the Spiderverse, which was a rare gem from them these days.

Even that wasn’t the worst thing I subjected myself to this year. There isn’t an actual Fugly movie every year, because a film has to be practically off the scale rancid to be worthy of Fugliness. This year, this one went straight in without passing Go, or collecting £200.

The Fugly

Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey

The concept seemed comical to me, and in such bad taste, it could be a work of genius, destined to be hailed as a cult movie. That’s not going to happen.

Pooh Bear, Piglet and company have been abandoned by Christopher Robin and have become feral killers, stalking the Hundred Acre Wood in a film so misguided and miserably inept it’s hard to describe. Piglet has tusks, Pooh racks up a Jason Voorhees type body count in a film that I lost interest in as soon as I realised it wasn’t being played for laughs – the film makers were actually serious.

Please, nobody ever let them near a camera again.

And that’s the list for this year. See you at the movies, kids.